This week and last, I found myself in a spiritual slump.
See, I kind of get... I don't know, bored with projects after awhile. Not that spirituality is a "project," it's just that... that's how I approach most new ventures. I've been a spiritual person for as long as I can remember, and developing my intuition is one of the most important things to me. Realizing that there's more to life than the 'here and now' has literally saved my life on many occasions. In my darkest hours, I've called out into the abyss and asked, "Hello? Anyone there? I need help."
And, much to my surprise... someone, somehow, has always answered back.
So, building this website, community, blog, and everything else around this aspect of my life -- the spiritual side, with this "Hey, let's explore intuition" attitude, has become a small project compared with the big picture of what spirituality means to me and the force that it is in my life.
And, recently, I've just started to get bored with the project part. Not really tired of it. I think I'm just ready for the next new adventure, the new Tarot spread or new meditation exercise. I'm tired of daily life, daily tasks, feeling a general sense of depression, and I need some focus.
Have you found that, even on your darkest days, even when you feel like you don't want to move, that you turn to your faith? It may be a little, "Hey God," just a whimper, or even a general question posed to your higher self, a simple, "What do I do now?" I don't always d
o it... I tend to wallow in self-pity for a long time before I get to that point. Ha! But, when I do... when I reach out beyond the physical life that I'm dredging through, changes do begin to happen.
So, this week, I'm making an effort to reach out... small steps. Here's what I did and a sample 3-Card reading that I hope helps me and others in the spiritual slump. This can go hand-in-hand with the life purpose post and spread and what I chatted about in last week's podcast (Episode 3 - Tarot for Life Purpose):- Why do I feel this way?
Five of Pentacles
An overwhelming sense of self-pity and loneliness. I feel like I'm fighting this sadness and despair all on my own. Though I don't always realize it, I'm a very 'in my own world' type of person. I celebrate my successes mostly on my own and tend to suffer in my own little world too. - Which obstacles are holding me back?The LoversI think the meaning of this card in this spread is two-part: 1, I need to remember to call on my husband and family more. They're really the source of all my strength and inspiration, so why do I forget to reach out to them when I feel down? 2, I've felt a great deal of guilt lately that our chores and life tasks aren't balanced. I'm fighting a cold and this depression, and he's really taken the reins and helped out around the house a lot more. I need to let go of the guilt and include my family in this journey -- whether I feel great or not so great.
- How many days will this last?9 of Wands
I pulled this card specifically to get a number -- about 9 days. I've been in this slump for about a week, so I hope that it only lasts a few more days. Not to say that I'm not in control of turning this around myself in any length of time, but I specifically feel that part of this down-time is hormonal or due to internal 'stuff' that may be beyond my control. And, typically, this just lasts a certain number of days whether I like it or not. So, I hope my guides are shedding some light on the length of this internal process. - What can I focus on to find happiness and shorten this time?The Star
Whenever I go through a time like this, I have to keep reminding myself to have hope, that "this too shall pass." This card makes me trust that part of this "blah" feeling is due to things beyond my control... being sick, being hormonal, so I may just have to wait it out. The Star is also a reminder to focus on my life purpose or divine path. Hold onto the feeling that, you're where you need to be. There will be ups and downs on this journey, but the underlying path is still the same.
